-sighs-
I hate it when my bro is in his room. I�can't look for stuff. STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID. I need my ipod's usb cable. NOW. How am i supposed to sync my other songs in. Plus, hes in a bad mood so chances are that even IF�i knock on his door he'd tell me to fuck off.-Sad. I�know.��- Waiting for my phone bill to come. 'cause then that would mean i would have unlimited texting which is REALLY bothering me because i feel the need to text. I have so much to say. Talking on the phone is soOOOOO yesterday. Literally.-----love love love my phone. love it. SOOOOOO MUCH.-----I�know.. i'm not really typing anything "real"� I'M JUST TRYING TO WASTE TIME. cuz sooner or later he will come out of his room and go shower... cuz he stinks. then i could go in reeeeeeeeal quick and find what i'm looking for.
Now if you'll excuse me... i'm gonna go tell him that he stinks. REAL BAD.
love
blahbee ANNOYED
�� Im scared.
Ok so over the past few weeks ever since school started, I�'ve had a creeper in my class. His name is Steve S. I�dont know what to do. He's a year older than me and is a nice kid. Up until u see his face its so... odd looking. Not to be mean but it is slanted at a downward angle. CREEPY! �He talks about me apparetly with his friends, because a few have came up and were like "Hey do you know a steve s? " " So your the girl?" and so on. Well now I am led to believe he somehow managed to get my cell number even though Im pretty sure none of my friends would give it to him without telling me and not to mention that I only have like five friends in my contact list. So it would'nt make sense for him to have it. Before you say Im just freeking out and getting ahead of myself. I reconize the number as his cause I've seen it befoe when he wrote it on my art journal. (dont wry I erased it�=D )�But how would he get my number? and why would he want it? Cause honestly I thought I had made it clear to him that I soo did not like him. Bleck! well I'll try to keep y'all up dated. tootles
Buy Usborne childrens books online at www.the-reading-coner.org
Opening:
One little girl,
One little man,
On top of the world,
Holding hands.
Why didn't it,
turn out like they planned?
CHORUS:
How could you leave her,
dripping in tears?
How could you Tell her,
reality is her worst fear?
How could you say,
that she was you're mistake?
How could you dare begin to break,
her?
VERSE#1:
She's cold and alone,
she's far from home,
she loved him,
he said not forgiven.
How could you leave him,
How could you tell him,
reality is his worst fear?
that he was your mistake?
him?
VERSE�#2:
Backwards he bent,
to show her love,
to make her heart mend,
with his gift from above.
how could you leave me,
how you tell me,
reality is my worst fear?
I was your mistake?
me?
ENDING:
No longer holdin' hands,
on different worlds,
Why hadn't it,
ended like they plan?
Well Mike came cover Monday night he & Mindy had broken up &�he had no where to stay. He asked to stay w/ Aleea so I said yes. He was laying on the couch when I walked out & layed w/ him. Of course we ended up in the room &�well you can only guess from there. I had high expectations like a fool. Tonight Wed night he told me he had cheated on Mindy so they broke up &�that he was a mess &�he couldn't be w/ me. He says he loved me but can't be w/ me. I am hurt all over again! What was I thinking? Why was I so foolish? How do I keep letting him destoy me? Why the hell can't I just move on? it been over 7 mos. &�he is still where my heart is. Why wont God stop my pain? Every man I meet from Rich to Gorgeous tells me how perfect I am &� yet I run from everyone but him..... My heart is still Mike Boones....
Wow. I can't believe it's already been 6 months since that last post. A lot has happened since then..
1. I started to see a Psychologist. I actually went once in late April; I went to my school's Counseling Center and set up an appointment. After that initial visit, I think I was more angry than ever. All the lady did was say "mmhmm", "okay", "that must have been terrible", etc, all in the most cheesy fake voice ever. I was so frustrated with her!�After that, our schedules weren't quite in synch so I didn't see her again.. my school only allows students to seek help while they're enrolled, so once summer started and I wasn't taking any classes, I couldn't see her.
2. I went back on Monday the 19th. Mostly because I found out from a relative two-and-a-half weeks ago that my mom had an abnormal pap smear, and was going to have to have a biopsy done to see if it was cancer. Well, to make a long story short, my mom actually called me after I found out, and we cried on the phone a lot, but I told her I was worried about her. It really made me realize that even though I hate my parents for some of the things they've done/the way they've treated me, I still would care if something bad happened to them. That fact really confused the hell out of me, so I made an appointment with Dr. F (the psychologist I saw in April).
3. Mom's fine. She texted me that her results came back "precancerous" which means she just has to go back every 6 months for 3 years, and she'll pretty much be fine. Can you believe she TEXTED me that?! I at least expected a phone call.. the nerve of her!
4. I've been pretty mellow lately, with only a few (one or two) bitchy outbursts since April. However... R (my boyfriend) has been really really rude.. like when I don't understand something within seconds after he says it and I ask him a question, he gets SO�angry and tells me I'm an idiot. I have been reacting really slowly lately, especially to things I should be quick with (i.e. I've always been good at math, but for some reason can't add correctly lately??)
That's it for now.. I'll write again soon (Dr. F is "requiring" me to start journaling on a more frequent basis to get my feelings out)
Christina
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ampogue01 45, Female, Florida, USA - 12 entries
